[Verse 1]
I went so numb on Christmas day
I couldn't feel my hands or feet
I shouldn't have come, she made me pay
For gleaming with Donald down her street

[Chorus 1]
She put blame on him and shame on me
She made it all seem so tawdry and cheap
Oh, let's be nice, Mama, open up your gifts
You know, happiness is the best facelift

[Verse 2]
I mean, after all, she introduced us
Oh, but she regrets that now
Shacked up downtown, making love without a license
Same old sacred cow

[Chorus 2]
She said, "did you come home to disgrace us?"
I said, "why is this joy not allowed?"
For God's sakes, I'm middle-aged, Mama, and time moves swift
And you know happiness is the best facelift

[Verse 3]
Oh, love takes so much courage
Love takes so much shit
He said "you've seen too many movies, Joni"
She said "snap out of it"
[Chorus 3]
Oh, the cold winds blew at our room with a view
All helpful and hopeful and candlelit
We kissed the angels and the moon eclipsed
You know happiness is the best facelift

[Verse 4]
We pushed the bed up to the window
To see the Christmas lights
On the east bank across the steaming river
Between the bridges lit up Paris-like

[Chorus 4]
This river has run through both our lives
Between these banks of our continuing delights
Bless us, don't let us lose the drift
You know happiness is the best facelift