This screen's a bore
There's no games and no porn
There's just a lot of grilled cheese
And a bakery treat for just ninety-nine cents
And all these old people piss me off
Is that hard to think before you talk?
Oh, you can't read the menu?
Well, I don't give a fuck

I've been here since noon
And I'm not leaving soon
Watch, they'll ask me to close
I'll agree and I'll resume
The only way I get time off is by
Saying I'm in bands that I'm not
I'm sure I said it more than enough
But please let me go on

If Bill rolls his eyes or gives me that mouth
Just one more time, just one more time
I'll shove these "gay jeans" so far up his ass
They'll align with his spine
But I'll be just fine