[Verse 1]
You'll be the guy, sixty-six in the corner of the bar
So convinced you were born to be a star
Zero irony
You'll be the guy who says, "What's so wrong
Walking down the aisle to your own song?"
Flirting with the girl from catering, freshly nineteen
Who just wants to get paid

[Pre-Chorus]
It's kind of charming when you're a sophomore
Now it's alarming that you're getting off on

[Chorus]
Pulling strings, destroying things
They're always from New Jersey
It was okay in your college days
But now you're pushing thirty
The only way we'll speak
Is through a lawyer or attorney
It gets creepy, sorta seedy
When you're full of shit and pushing thirty
Pushing thirty

[Verse 2]
You'll be thе dad who went out for milk and never wеnt back
You don't get what's so bad about that
You still think about them every single birthday
The world is so cruel it tears you apart
The world is unfair to men with guitars
It's just so fucking hard
[Chorus]
Pulling strings, destroying things
They're always from New Jersey
It was okay in your college days
But now you're pushing thirty
The only way we'll speak
Is through a lawyer or attorney
It gets creepy, sorta seedy
When you're full of shit and pushing thirty
Pushing thirty

[Bridge]
It's been a decade, a couple elections
You're still getting laid from the same chord progression
You never cared, you're just chasing attention
Clearer I'm seeing, the older you're getting
The more that I notice, the less that I'm losing
'Cause thirty's a milestone, but all you'll be doing's

[Chorus]
Pulling strings, destroying things
The crown jewel New Jersey
It was okay in your college days
But now you're pushing thirty (Now you're, now you're, now you're pushing)
The only way we'll speak
Is through a lawyer or attorney
It gets creepy, sorta seedy
When you're full of shit and pushing thirty
Pushing thirty
Pushing thirty