Slither down the street until I find the plain gray door
Linger by the mirror, check my hair before
I slide into an empty stool to cruise the guy who's shooting pool
He probably thinks that I'm a fool blues
Try to keep my composure when I get the cold shoulder I got the gay bar blues

These gay bar blues have put the skids on me
When's my sugar daddy going to set me free
If he don't come soon I bet I'll die from smoking cigarettes
On Spokane Avenue
Going home without no body
I got the gay bar blues

I tried going straight, dug up all the moola
Moved home to Missoula dated Suzie Q from high school
Last time I asked her, I had to get plastered
It ended in disaster blues
If I don't hook a dude I'm gonna drown in wine coolers
I got the gay bar blues

If I could ever find a halfway decent man
I'd never have to sneak into this sleazy dump again
I'd never have to worry if the police or jerks I work with
Are spying on the plain gray door
Everybody in this place is smiling
But we're all dying inside blues
Everybody in this place is smiling
But we're all dying inside blues
Dying inside blues, dying inside blues
Dying inside blues