We interrupt this program with a special bulletin:
America is now under martial law
All constitutional rights have been suspended
Stay in your homes
Do not attempt to contact loved ones, insurance agents or attorneys
Shut up
Do not attempt to think or depression may occur
Stay in your homes
Curfew is at 7 PM sharp after work
Anyone caught outside the gates of their subdivision sectors after curfew
Will be shot
Remain calm, do not panic
Your neighborhood watch officer will be by to collect urine samples in the morning
Anyone caught interfering with the collection of urine samples
Will be shot
Stay in your homes, remain calm
The number one enemy of progress is question
National security is more important than individual will
All sports broadcasts will proceed as normal
No more than two people may gather anywhere without permission
Use only the drugs prescribed by your boss or supervisor
Shut up, be happy
Obey all orders without question
The comfort you demanded is now mandatory
Be happy
At last, everything is done for you