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I got a hoe from the East, I got a hoe from the West
Got a hoe that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest
I got a bitch from the North, I got a bitch from the South
I got a bitch that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth
I got a bitch with hair, a bitch with none
A bitch with a knife, a bitch with a gun
A bitch with an ass big as a TV set
And there's a bitch over there
Hey, the one I'm gonna get but yo but maybe not!
She might not like me, though
No sweat to a vet, I'll rock her sister, though, word
I'll rock the whole damn herd
Fuck 'em all and leave 'em on the curb
I got a bitch with a mink, who rocks a fat gold link
Who likes to fuck me with her ass upon the kitchen sink
I got a bitch with tits, a bitch with ass
A bitch with none, but hey, I give her a pass, and I love them all!
I love them crazily, and they love me back
That's why they stay with me!

So if you're having girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
Hit me!
99 problems and a bitch ain't one!
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
I got a bitch that's old, a bitch that's new
A bitch who loves velvet and the colours blue
I got a bitch that's fat, a bitch that's built
A bitch who all the titties give powdered milk
I got a bitch who's funny, a bitch who ain't
A bitch that can sing, a bitch who can't
I got a bitch who loves fucking on an airplane
I even got a bitch off Soul Train
I got a bitch who rolls rag top Benz, long ends!
I got a bitch who's broke as a bum
But she's the most fun!
I got a bitch that plays piano, a bitch who don't
A bitch that dances naked, a bitch who won't
A bitch who's short, a bitch who's tall
A bitch who burns my phone out with priority calls

And I love them all, I love them crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay with me
So if you're having girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
Hit me!
99 problems and a bitch ain't one!
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one

I got a bitch that loves the G
She'll fuck you right after she fucks me
I got a bitch that loves boats
I got a bitch that loves handcuffs and ropes
I got a bitch that's fast, a bitch that's slow
A bitch that's a virgin, and a bitch that's a hoe
A bitch that lies, a bitch that's true
A bitch who's a man, because y'all bitches too!
I got a bitch that's cool, a bitch that's hot
A bitch who loves rap, a bitch who loves rock
A bitch who's lost, and one who knows where it's at
She gets up under me and purrs like a cat
I got a bitch that runs, a bitch that walks
A bitch that yells, a bitch that talks
A bitch that's dirty, a bitch that's neat
A super fine bitch that I knocked at the swap meet
And I love them all, I love them crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay with me
So if you're having girl problems I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
Hit me!
99 problems and a bitch ain't one!
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one