Well, Zenora Bariella and Coriander Pyle
They had sixteen children in the usual style
They had a curio museum and they had no guile
All they ever wanted was a showbiz child

The seventh of December, 1949
They got what they'd been wishing for all of the time
He grew up in a trailer, by the time he was nine
Rolled off to join the circus, telling fortunes on the side

Hail, hail, the Eyeball Kid

Well, the first time I saw him was a Saigon jail
Cost me $27 dollars just to go his bail
I said, "Your name will be in lights, and that's no doubt
But you just got to have a manager, that's what it's all about"

Yeah, yeah, yeah

"The people would point, the people would stare
I'll always be here to protect you and to cut down on the glare
I know you can't speak, I know you can't sign
So cry right here on the dotted line"

Hail, hail, the Eyeball Kid
Well, he was born without a body, not even a brow
I made the kid a promise, I made the kid a vow
He's not conventionally handsome, he'll never be tall
He said, "All you got to do is book me into Carnegie Hall"

Hoo

He's just a little bitty thing, he's just a little guy
But women go crazy for the big blue eye
"How does he dream, how does he think
When he can't even speak and he can't even blink?"

I said "Hail, hail, the Eyeball Kid"
Hail, hail, Eyeball Kid
Hail, hail, Eyeball Kid

Give it up and throw me down a couple of quid
Everybody wants to see the Eyeball Kid

Hoo

[auction chant, applause, "I'm a good boy"]

They say, "How does he dream, how does he think
When he can't even speak and he can't even blink?"
We're all lost in the wilderness, we're as blind as can be
He come down to teach us how to really see
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

So give it up, throw me down a couple of quid
Everybody wants to see the Eyeball Kid
Give it up, throw me down a couple of quid
Everybody wants to see the Eyeball Kid

Give it up
Give it up
Give it up and throw me down a couple of quid
Everybody will want to see the Eyeball Kid

Eyeball Kid
Eyeball Kid
Ooh, Eyeball Kid