Well, the dawn cracked hard just like a bullwhip
'Cause it wasn't taking no lip from the night before
And it shook out the streets, as the stew bums showed up
Like bounced checks rubbing their necks
And the sky turned the color of Pepto-Bismol
Yeah, and the parking lots growled
My old sport coat full of promissory notes
And a receipt from a late night motel
The hawk had his whole family out there in the wind
And he got a message for you to beware
Kicking your ass in, in a cold-blooded fashion
And dishing out more than a good man can bear

And I got shoes untied, my shirttail is out
Ain't got a ghost of a chance with this old romance
Just an apartment for rent down the block
Ivar Theater with live burlesque
Man, the manager's scowling with his feet on the desk
Boom boom against the curtain, you're still hurting, ay-ay
And then push came to shove and shove came to biff
Girls like that just lay you out stiff
Maybe I'll go to Cleveland and, you know, get me a tattoo or something
My brother-in-law lives there

And it's a skid mark tattoo on the asphalt blue
Was that a Malibu? Vroooooom, vroooooom
Yeah, it's Liz Taylor and Montgomery Clift
Coming on to the broads with the same old riff, yeah
'Hey baby, why don't you come up to my place?
We'll listen to some smooth music on the stereo' eh-he-he'
'No thank you,' she said, eh-he-he, 'you got any Stan Getz records?'
'No man, I got eh... Smothers Brothers'
So I combed back my Detroit, jacked up my pegs
I wiped my Stacy Adams' and I jackknifed my legs
Yeah, I got designs on a moving violation
Yeah baby, you put me on hold and I'm out in the wind
And it's getting mighty cold
It's colder than a gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups
Pulling a number-four trap up a hill in the dead of winter
In the middle of a snowstorm with a mouth full of porcupine quills

Well, I don't need you, baby
You see, it's a well-known fact, you know
I'm four sheets to the wind, I'm glad you're gone
I'm glad you're gone, cause I'm finally alone
Glad you're gone, but I wish you'd come home
Yeah, and I struggled out of bed

'Cause the dawn was cracking hard just like a bullwhip
And it wasn't taking no lip from the night before
Yeah, as it shook out the streets and the stew bums showed up
Just like bounced checks, rubbing their necks
And the sky turned the color of Pepto-Bismol
And my old sport coat full of promissory notes
And the hawk had his whole family out there in the wind
He got a message for you to beware
Kicking your ass in, in a cold blooded fashion
He'll be dishing out more than a good man can bear
Well let's take it to Bakersfield, get a little apartment somewhere