I heard you walking down our street
Emphatic boots on massive feet
Instinctively I knew what would ensue

I’d have to strap on my guitar
And tell the people near and far
I’d like to swerve the Checkatrade with you

Swerving the Checkatrade
Swerving the Checkatrade
Swerving the Checkatrade with you

My heart is like a hand grenade
My head feels like it’s been waylaid
Swerving the Checkatrade with you

I followed you for half a mile
And in what seemed like quite a while
I found a way in which to tell it true

I like a pint, I like a brawl
I like a scone, but most of all
I’d like to swerve the Checkatrade with you

Yeah, swerving the Checkatrade
Swerving the Checkatrade
So we may get to bill-and-coo
I’ve weighed up all the pros and cons
Of watching under-21s
Swerving the Checkatrade with you

Oh let me gaze upon your curves
Instead of Ipswich Town reserves
Swerving the Checkatrade with you
Swerving the Checkatrade with you
Swerving the Checkatrade with you