[Round 1: Anderson Burrus]
URL…this where it all started
A culture of adjusted brims and custom Timbs
Rappers bringing crews on stage to see who’s got tougher friends
And if you ain’t willin’ to die behind what you say, don’t even think about jumpin’ in
‘Cause this is battle rap... where hardcore gangsters write poetry about other men
This is serious!
I got bars, delivery, and I’ve got performance, too
I heard you got some white jokes for me
I’m sure you do
He’ll be like, “He’s a guest in this culture! Hе’s a guest in this culture!”
And of course that’s truе
But aye…y’all ever invite a guest over to your house, and your family likes the guest more than you?
That’s what’s about to happen
Homie, I’m not the dude to get up here with only jokes
I’m numero uno on this stage
Homie, don’t be dos (Dose)
And try to make this a debatable
This won’t be close!
I don’t wanna hear (“We got a battle!”)
Homie, no, we DON’T!
This is a BODY!
I came here to put you in your casket tonight
Black man gettin’ played by a white dude like The Pa**ion of Christ
They say I don’t belong on this stage ‘cause I don’t have enough stripes!?
Feel like I’m workin’ at Chick-Fil-A: bro, I HAVE to be nice!
Blade on me
I see Berry with his friend, both of y’all get hurt
‘Cause if you call yourself MVP, you’re the one that I pick first
Then I stab his friend, twist the blade, and yank it out on him
They drop around the same time like Jay and Nas albums!
But for real...how creative is this dude MVP?
The way he takes other rappers' styles is just super unique
And when it comes to a fanbase, I mean, this dude is a beast
He'll drop a battle...500 views in a week
I mean, it's impressive
See, this is why I don't think the Crucible's gonna work for you
'Cause you battled DNA, Trez, and Chilla
Still we've never heard of you
Three battles with three legends didn't give this man clout
You're like Where's Waldo?
'Cause yeah, you have stripes, but you still don't stand out
'Cause you be tryna sway the crowd, but you don't have the answers, though
You should cut out every word, treat it like a ransom note
Y'all think that this man is dope, that's why they brought the antidote
MVP fell off: LeBron on the banana boat
That proves to me your standards low
Too many of these dudes amateur
But shout out to URL - y'all unlocked a new character
I'm the rap Bruce Derringer
You can't beat me, I'm an animal!
And if I'm not in your Top 10...that's completely understandable
I mean, y'all like Mook and Lux and them, but like...
[Round 1: MVP]
This is marvelous, to pure...fraudulence
I'm not...fond of it
Have you been peepin' any baseball games since the pandemic started, b*t*h?
You...cut out (cutout) for the audience
Why pick him to fight wit' me?
Like he can actually write wit' me?
It hasn't been that long since George Floyd died
He called himself a breath of fresh air
Somethin' 'bout that just don't sit right wit' me
You prob'ly kissed a** for a plate
This was a big-a** mistake
Miss me wit' the riff-raff (RiFF RAFF)
White rapper...I will literally carve a zig-zag in your face
You look like a customer, and that's in any type of space
You look like...Cory from Boy Meets World, and guess what?
I got some fenny (Feeny) by the gate
Beat me? WHAT!?
Who gon' do it!? You!?
I'm tryna uplift my community, Klansmember
See, my hood got a point to it, too
He can't rap a lick!
And y'all wanna hear this b*st*rd spit!?
It's like that battle rap cartoon series, if you catch my drift
You know, like when Dizaster was the Ketchup
They even had that little battle between the pets
Well, peep how I mastered it
'Cause I'll really Hollow yo' Dog
You must heard (Mustard) I was immaculate (Illmaculate)
I can fight!
Like we don't have to go and blast .4s
I mean, I'm different 'cause I could read a (Reda) n***a...and war (Anwar)
You gotta be perfect tonight!
You better not make an error!
Or the Gates of Heaven gon' open, then cracker (crack'll) go up: that's the Reagan era!
One call, I'm on the way!
Find out where all you b*t*hes stay!
Iron out the door
Look like Alfalfa takin' Darla on a date!
Look at the timing! I'm shining!
Got this sh*t lookin' like Communion
Nickel plate, cracker pa**ed - quit whining (wine-ing)!
He can't f**k wit' me!
This ain't a frat party - white boy, you can't punch wit' me
If we was in school together, I woulda cheated off of yo' math test
Aight, sum this up for me
You made a blog sayin' that you couldn't possibly be racist 'cause you watched an entire season of Martin?
I know what you said
I know that you dead
So you had to see the episode where Gina got caught in them bedrails?
Well, if so, don't let these next bars go over yo' head
I'm about to have a knife, Ziploc-bag him twice
And this body gon' continue to change on cam'...
'Cause it don't matter if you Black or-
[Round 2: Anderson Burrus]
Make some noise for that, y'all! That was fire!
Don't clap, let's go
Dude, if you just weren't 5'4", that would've been so much more
Another round about the tool in the trunk, and how you shootin' it up
Bro, that's every rapper's style, and they do it too much
I like variety, I'm not with that usual stuff
I love roasting people...which is literally what the Crucible was
But see, the thing about Berry is, he talks a good game
Always claimin' that he's a Crip, got blue all in his veins
But when you battled another Crip, y'all had this awkward exchange
Where at one point he said you weren't really part of the gang
Turns out bein' a Crip is just an act for attention
You look at his real life, and it's dramatically different
He's just at home, on the couch, just happily chillin'
Wearing all-blue...he's casually Crippin'
He might wear some red, too, but he's casually Crippin'
He flew here on JetBlue - he's casually Crippin'!
He's just a fan of the Crips, and that's what's confusing to me
'Cause I didn't know you could root for a gang the same way you'd root for a team
I'm not really tryin' to knock it
It sounds like legit fun
He hears there was a gang war on 5th Street and goes, "Ooh! Hope the Crips won."
Then he finds out that they lost
He's like, "That really sucks to hear...
Hope it wasn't the Bloods. Man, they've been killin' us this year."
Listen, Berry! I know being a Crip is something you dream about
But you work at the post office
You have morning and evening routes
That's the reason that we can doubt everything that he speakin' 'bout
'Cause I learned to identify when a Berry is dangerous
I mean, I was an Eagle Scout
And I learned that this right here's a style that won't go far
Lexx picked me for Phase 1, and he knows a star
So for me to make it to Phase 3, this won't be hard
I got Phase 2 locked down...and these aren't even my closing bars!
Homie, I came here to 30 you!
Hopefully there's no debatin'
I learned to talk different, like overseas negotiatin'
Got uplifting uppercuts, when I go and swing, it's motivatin'
Get your dreads rocked by a white boy - (*smack*) - I'm culturally appropriatin'!
Homie, I don't care how many guns you keep in the car
You need to relax with the smoke like an evening cigar
When I pull this blade out, it'll be leaving a scar
It'll run a line by you...like, "What'd you think of this bar?"
Homie, I'm sick!
Doctors can't figure it out
I'm like COVID: I'm more dangerous the bigger the crowd
And yeah, I'm doin' this for free!
I'm surprised I'm showin' up
Hey, Beasley, you ever buy a plane ticket last-minute?
Yeah, every day my price is goin' up
I'll do Phase 3 for free, though, probably
[Round 2: MVP]
"Hey now, you're an all star
Get your game on, go play"
That's my jam
I grip the pound, n***as
See, I can do more than just...clown n***as
'Cause he don't got the experience
Everybody that he face the same, it's like Down Syndrome
I used to live in Raleigh, n***a
That was the first time I seen a chipmunk in my f**kin' life
I moved back to St. Louis 'cause that city is so f**kin' nice
I brought different calibers for this challenger
Shameless, drug his father: Frank Gallagher
I get to flamin' on somethin'
'Cause I been bangin', it's nothin'
White people Thanksgivings: you can guarantee I'm gon' be raisin' on somethin'!
That sh*t'll flock a flame
Fully automatics, white boy
I don't even gotta aim
Basically, Anderson, I'm not carin' (Karen): that's yo' mama name
Y'all done put up a n***a that's astonishin' against some f**kin'...college kid!
I can't acknowledge it 'cause my past is like pottery cla**
Even though I spun a lot, I made somethin' out of it!
F**k do I get for beatin' you!?
I don't get no stripes from it
But I feel like Super Mario every time I hit the block...'cause I might get life from it
You a fan or somethin'?
You a fan or somethin'?
I don't wanna hear one. F**kin'. Bar! about how yo' hammers bustin'
They told me not to talk gangsta because you're white
What? Y'all think these toys just gon' lay down just 'cause Andy's comin'!?
I take threats!
I'mma smoke you, whoever I face next
That's why I mention Toy Story
Dawg (Dog), I'm wired to take steps
I'm not just yo' average battler...white boy
I got a little bit of money, it's all here
I managed to see bands during the pandemic, and there hasn't been a concert all year
I brought the pen out
Anderson Burrus, what's this sh*t 'bout!?
White man, think he can run wit' a Black body? Get Out!
Who is yo' scout!? Oh...figures
Aye, Lexx, I'm startin' to notice a pattern
Now I'm not sayin' that I'm mad at you
But you done brought so many white boys in this building, you could storm the Capitol!
It's inevitable that I get you
I'm bettin' that they forget you
But me? Jet Magazine: forever gon' be an issue, n***a!
[Round 3: Anderson Burrus]
I wanna help expand URL 'cause it's the right thing to do
Plus I have a theory about this league that I've been tryin' to prove
So I dug up some stats about the app, and I started rifling through
Y'all know how many old white people have the URL app? Surprisingly few
Now that is a ma**ive demographic y'all been unable to target
'Cause every reference is about Friday or some episode of Martin
While whiter shows like Seinfeld are completely disregarded
But see, I understand old white people...and I can get y'all in that market
For example...y'all remember that episode of Golden Girls where they had their ladies' night out
But Betty White had to babysit to buy that amazing white gown?
Well, I keep a .40 in the crib to make this baby pipe DOWN!
'K, y'all didn't catch that, but old white people would be goin' CRAZY right now!
That's a bar! WHAT!?
How am I getting a mild reaction!? WHAT!?
And I get it
That style, to the rest, sounds cuckoo
Y'all just wanna hear about how that TEC sound - cool, dude
And to the judges, if y'all aren't impressed now, screw you
If they don't put me through to the next round...(*chk-chk*) I'mma put this next round through you!
I got that Columbine factor! I'll lobotomize rappers!
I will diss your dead homies...then apologize after
Then punch him in his face
He was really a looker
But now his features are everywhere like Benny the Bu-
Hold up, lemme switch it up and make it a bit darker
I found out where he stay, hop out with the big chopper
I'm in his front yard sprayin' everything: Miss Parker
97, shoulda got MVP: Vince Carter
He checks for bullets, examines himself like a sick doctor
Then he runs, gets the lead out like Flint water
I run him down, we start throwin' hands, I hit harder
Now he needs his friends to help get him off the ground: that's a Kickstarter!
Man, there's not a rapper in the Crucible I can't get through, believe me
Y'all wanna give me compet**ion? Gimme Sikh, Lu, or Eazy
I'm not sayin' that y'all trash
I just need a hall pa**...
'Cause I just now realized that I'm in the wrong cla**
[Round 3: MVP]
My scars permanent
PTSD - have you heard of it?
You prob'ly don't think that you a Trump supporter, and I get it
You'll just never come to (two) terms wit' it
We got two different lives that we live
What he sayin'? I ain't feelin' it
He prob'ly went through some sh*t growin' up, but f**k that! He had privilege!
While you was buildin' a portfolio, buyin' shares, makin' sure that you got paper
I gave my partner a 'K, he handed me a M-16
We were stock traders
I come from wakin' up every morning, not knowin' exactly what to live for
We heated the house wit' the Kenmore
You think that's bad? There is more
I'm talkin' bad plumbing
Pee in a bottle and throw it outside
Every bar the truth!
I was walkin' down the street tryna figure out which car to shoot
My partners dead, yours on the golf course somewhere
You up to par with WHO!?
I come from major pain, no Damon Wayans
Imagine somebody thankin' Jesus before they shot the dope
And you gotta tell 'em to quit takin' the Lord's name in vain (vein)!?
This n***a got a pa**!
See, the close battles be cool and all, but I go for the bodybags
And this is Child's Play
Right now, it's .5 to Andy's head: I need this body bad!
I'm the same MVP, you can't change MVP
And as long as this n***a dies, you can blame MVP
You are a diet version of Charron, and that's actually poor
Christopher Columbus: nothin' that land is actually yours
I got hood stripes!
Put him in a spectrum of other Caucasians - (*cough*) King of the Dot
He not even puttin' up a good fight
No wonder why he keep gettin' stepped on: he ain't even good WHITE!
I'm knowin' it, this a wrap
I'm focused, but listen back
If your L was baking soda, you're not potent enough to crack!
This is SMACK!
I used to max out on them back routes
I'm talkin' crash out
And y'all wanna gentrify it?
All I heard was "The white in", so black out!
You got Iron Solomon! Mike P!
They both fire, right?
But he ain't never have to eat off the ear: he not Iron, Mike
You got Real Deal, the 20th-best battler A. Ward
And I get this...flunkie!?
I'm f**kin' amazing
Like, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but honk, HONKY!
The Smith n'll dump!
Two to the head
Now it's a couple missin' out of that 30: it's Black History Month
Time - good sh*t!