Billie Eilish
Paparazzi Instagram Monologue
So I just wanted to say something real quick, which is yesterday I was at Kimmel, which was amazing, and when I left I had to go to a rehearsal. So to walk to the car, there was an alley that I walked through. Like 500 feet to my left was a group of fans, and then like 500 feet to my right was what I thought was fans and paparazzi.

I started, I went to the left side. I walked all the way over to them and hugged them all, I took pictures and talked to them for a second. Didn't sign anything, because I like don't do that. That's something I don't do, because I used to and I realised all anyone did was sell everything that I signed so I stopped doing that. It's kind of a policy of mine that I don't.

So I talked to them, hugged them all, I went to the other side and as I got closer, like they were cheering for me and stuff, and shouting for my name and stuff, and so I walked.

And as I got closer, I kind of realised that it was pretty much all paparazzi and ebayers, which is what we call people that just take my signature and sell it and couldn't give less of a fuck about me at all.

But I didn't want to like be disrespectful at all, so I went up to them all and I like tried to get like hugs and try to touch all of their hands like do that down the line or whatever, and I started to do that. Nobody put their hands out. Nobody tried to hug me back...I hugged one girl at the end, and so she was really sweet...

But then I tried to walk like a couple feet across from where they were, not where the first group was, but like in the same area that I was in, because I thought that's where there were fans.

When I looked over there, they were gone. And I was like, OK well, I guess nobody here really wants anything from me besides a fucking autograph, which I don't do because these bitches will sell that shit.

Like, I'll sign something if it's like for a special occasion or if somebody's in need or whatever, of course I'm gonna do that. But I have this whole thing about not signing things because I just want to be there. I'd way rather get a hug and talk to you than take a picture with you and fucking sign something so you can sell that shit.

I don't do that, and I've tried to make that clear like a billion times, and I said it before I went over to them.

Anyway.

I started to walk away, because I realised none of these people actually cared about anything that had to do with me as a person. Um, and so I walked away.

As I started to walk away back to the car, they all started to boo me.

And then they all started calling me a little bitch, and saying I'm gonna lose my Grammy nominations, and you know, what a little fucking you know, whatever, just cursing me out and shit.
Damn, dude, like...

Then I started hearing them comparing, they kept being like, "Lorde would have stopped". I'm like, I did stop! I walked 500 fe- I walked like 1,000 feet to come say hi to you and give some hugs and y'all are booing me and calling me a little bitch?

Like, the fact that people can switch up like that [clicks fingers]...damn. Like wait outside for you, and then immediately they don't get what they want, and they boo you and fucking curse at you.

I'm like, "Bro, I'm 17! You're ..." Oh my God, this shit is...[exasperated whoo!]! I turned around ready to fucking pounce, and then I got told to just ignore it and not give a reaction, which is probably good, and it's probably stupid dumb of me making these videos but...

Mm...anyway, the only reason I'm making this video is because I saw a video of this all happening and I just wanted to clarify what actually happened. Because if you watch the video it literally looks like I'm watching by a bunch of fans and like completely ignoring them and not saying hi to them, which is not at all what happened.

I literally walked from the other side of the alley, which was like 1,000 feet. Which is fine, I'm like happy to do it. But I walked over there literally only to say hi, only to hug people. I literally went over and I was like, "I don't want pictures, I want to hug", and I got pictures of me shoved into my fucking face. And no love whatsoever.

So I left and then I got booed and got called a little bitch and got told that I'm gonna lose my Grammys.

I probably am gonna lose the Grammys, but it's okay though! I'm not worried about that, it's the nomination that counts!

Anyway! I don't know, I just wanted to, I don't even know...I went back to the other side where the real fans were and I was like, "Guys they booed me!" And they were very sweet. You guys are my friends, I love you a lot.

And to the grown men that booed me and called me a little bitch, I hope the best for you. I hope you can find someone else you can use to make money off of and belittle. So yeah, all the best!

Love you paparazzi.