Anonymous
The Van Darkholme Award Speech
[The winner of this award was Yakuza: Like A Dragon]
[Voiced by Donny Q]

Yakuza’s back with a splash, one that smells suspiciously similar to the sweat dripping down these big, girthy bodies. Laying it all on the table hot and heavy, Sega hit the reset button on everything you knew about the series, starting first with a brand new character.

Kasuga’s spunky attitude and youthful demeanor is a refreshing change of pace compared to the stern personality of Kiryu, who still makes an appearance, as if the developers knew you’d need even just a taste of him to stay hooked.

Unsheathe your katana, go get a few tattoos, and chug down a bottle of sake, because this entry’s raw, unfiltered man musk is about to stuff itself right into your little gamer hole, and let me tell you from experience, it doesn’t go back to being tight afterwards.

Hope you like dragons, cause Ichiban’s dragon his nuts across your face from the very moment gameplay starts.